Little angel was born, pure nd pious
She loved everyone without any bias..
She thought life wud be a fairytale
But as she grew, her dreams became more pale..
Her fragile wings wanted to fly
To soar new heights in da sky..
But da reality hit her so hard
That she was shattered to shards..
It was da heights of pain
That was making her go insane..
All her dreams were torn
For she was thrown into forlorn..
Her naked body was battered
And her tender wings were spattered..
Her blood had turned blue
It was in its deepest hue..
Now she lay in dead slumber
And her body grew even more numbber..
She loved everyone without any bias..
She thought life wud be a fairytale
But as she grew, her dreams became more pale..
Her fragile wings wanted to fly
To soar new heights in da sky..
But da reality hit her so hard
That she was shattered to shards..
It was da heights of pain
That was making her go insane..
All her dreams were torn
For she was thrown into forlorn..
Her naked body was battered
And her tender wings were spattered..
Her blood had turned blue
It was in its deepest hue..
Now she lay in dead slumber
And her body grew even more numbber..
P.S : this is da first time ive tried writing a poem, so plz excuse me for any mistakes..
7 comments:
nenu haala poetry lu chadiva.. na skool books o..
kani ilanti centi..simple,.(yet has big story).. poetry nenu ekkada chudalede..
simple ga cheppalante kummav...
a engg maney.. cinemaloki.. journalism loki ellipo..
hey that was awesome..... it seems that u have a bright future as a bard than an engg.. heheh just kidding ...... keep rocking buddy...
and one request .. abt the background color ... it strains the readers a lot....if u can please consider this suggestion
i feel its only a sad expression... a poem has 2 have hope...(well its just-a-my-point-of-view).......
for commercially gud poems....they shudn't b all dat sad....even the most sad shud feel there is still hope 4 dem...(again its only my-point-of-view).....
y dontcha try smthing humorous, ithink u can....e.g.some funny childhood incident....u CAN write such a thing!!dnt 4get the humour bit(lyf ain't so bad aftr all)[;)]
hiiii kartikaa....gr8 work fr a first timer i must say, by indian standards...applyin the concept of birth and death to an "angel"...dis is wat makes ur poem special...but den..u cud hav finished of with a much happier ending..!!not a prob!!hmm...i loved it..no exaggeration
really impressed eh :)
nice one da !!
loved it basically because its into darker side of life ...death poems and stuff !!
nice one looks like this has been in ur dreams .....
very good for a first timer..:)
u had a very good concept for your poem.. i think u would hav done much better if u wrote blank verse... because trying to find rhyming words makes u sacrifice some of ur creativity... just a personal opinion.
anyways well done... :)
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